Evening in the Arena, Readying 20, 591

Indranil’s face ripples with thought and emotion, then as he draws a breath his face and demeanor changes to one of peaceful calm. “Sir Fingol has told a tale that leaves out the pain and contention I caused.” Indranil nods towards his leader and friend while he says this. “Thank you, Cousin.”

Indranil is silent as he fills and lights his pipe for such a long time that his friends wonder if he plans to continue his tale. He then settles against his pack, crosses his ankles and lets out a few smoke rings.

“Friends, it is good to be back in your company again. First let me start by begging each and every one of your forgiveness for my sins of hate, anger and intolerance. I trespassed on your trust and lost your respect. My soul will be long in recovering from my self-inflicted wound.” Indranil sighs, “My human blood is difficult to manage.”

“Especially to good Drago here. Thank the Goddesses it seems the unintended consequences of my sins have borne fruit in ways no one could have suspected and turned out to aid our mission. In that I take some small consolation that irrecoverable harm was not wrought by my actions.”

Indranil is then lost again in thought for some time. Shaking himself he stirs and says, “Ah, yes. My tale. I am wool gathering at the wrong time. But this tale provokes contemplation in so many nuanced ways.”

“My tale is a cautionary one of the dangers of intolerance and…,” he pauses while his gaze passes over Adalwulf before returning to stare off into the distance, “… Lawfulness. For there is a thin line between lawful good and evil. Perhaps they are even two sides of the same coin? And, the outcome depending on who tosses it? One does not have to travel too far to go from what they think is good for themselves to what they think is good for everyone else and then it is easy follow on to condemn those who believe otherwise. That was my sin. I came to believe only I knew what was right and good. I was lost in the hubris of my initial successes as commander.”

“I saw in the good Father here things about myself that I did not like and found abhorrent. I was not able to govern my thoughts and feelings. I became more intolerant and arrogant with each passing day until that fateful night…” Indranil smiles, “… was it only last night? It feels like a lifetime!”

Indranil waves lightly at Adalwulf, “Nay, Father, I am not suggesting you are in any way evil or untrustworthy. You do not suffer from my sins and are well grounded in your Patron the God Pholtus. I strayed from the path of my patroness and lost my way.”

“After I left you all, while descending from the plateau I was gripped in a great, dark, black, rage. I actually lost my vision becoming blind by the time I to the bottom. Aatu had to lead me through the swamps back to the stream. As he led me through the swamp I raged at you all for your ‘disloyalty’ and universe for Its ‘unfairness.’ I longed for the righteous unambiguous black and white of rules and laws.”

“I raged and raged and cried and wailed. Once we made the stream I fell into a coma and received a visitor. It was Thanatos himself!” Indranil shivered with the memory. “He was frightful and awful to behold; a walking cadaver and ghost of his former greatness as a god. Thanotos came to offer me the peace and surety of Death. To become one of his disciples and minions.”

“Fortunately some core of the Goddess’ blessing lingered in me still and caused me to see through his siren song of Peace and Bliss in the Finality of Death. I rejected his offer saying I preferred the uncertainty of life itself, in all its good, bad and chaotic manifestations, the joy the suffering, the love the hate, the full magnificent cycle of birth, old age, sickness and death. I knew again that true peace and happiness for me lies in balance.”

“I was transported to the Green Elysian Fields and visited by Ehlenestra and her cousin Vandria, Steel-Heart, and protector of the Elven Race, who took pity on me and gave me atonement and forgiveness. They gave me tasks as penance and set me back in this World with the mission to find you all for they said you were in dire need.”

Indranil then falls silent while scratching Aatu’s ears and puffing on his pipe. “Friends this tale is deeply personal and I am grateful you have let me tell it. I feel transformed. I hope you will all forgive me and in my actions allow me to atone for my sins.”

Rain places her hand on Indranil’s shoulder and says quietly “It is a humbling experience to be in focus of an entity of such goodness. I also had the great fortune of having such a being view my soul. Though I was found wanting, you have been shown your path. I admit to being a bit jealous, Indranil. But am very happy for your realignment and return to us.”

Indranil replies, “Thank you M’Lady, that means much to me.”

Fingol adds, “Sir Indranil, I thanked you before for coming back to rescue us. Now that I hear your tale, it sounds like I will have my friend back as well.”

Indranil: “Indeed you do cousin!”